


Understanding

by gracethebookworm



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-21
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-10 09:40:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/464863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracethebookworm/pseuds/gracethebookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Tracy men are good at everything. Everything but understanding the youngest, it seems. When he withdraws into himself, no one seems to notice. So, when something's wrong, will the rest of the family realize in time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Sadly, I'm nowhere near rich enough to buy the Thunderbirds just yet.  
> Warnings: In the tags, but, again, there will be a lot of angst. Please be prepared with tissues!
> 
> Lastly, my updates are sporadic. I'm a student and my studies have to come first. That said, I will endeavour to update approximately once a month. No promises, though.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! It does help a lot.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing and it was a perfect day on Tracy Island.

Until…

"Alan, how could you? You know better than to try doing something so foolish! You know, I actually started to think that maybe you were getting more responsible. I was even thinking about talking to Dad to see whether we should start your Thunderbird training. I can see now that I was wrong. You're still far too immature to be on the team."

Scott Tracy, firstborn to Lucille and Jeff Tracy and the field commander of the Thunderbirds was usually cool-headed and could be counted on to think before he talked. Unfortunately, 'usually' was not a word usually used to describe events when the youngest Tracy son was around.

"I made a mistake Scott! You're acting like I did it on purpose when it was just a stupid mistake! And, I'm too immature to be on the team? What happened to trusting me? What happened to you guys finally realizing that I'm not a kid any more? Or was that just another bunch of platitudes to make sure that I act like a good little boy and don't throw my toys out of the cot? You know, I actually thought that you meant it. I actually believed that you guys had started to trust me. I guess I was wrong again, huh?"

Alan turned and started to make his way towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going for a run. I can't stand being in the same house as you right now." Alan replied, already half out the door.

Scott pulled in a deep breath.

_What is wrong with me? Why was I so awful to him? It was just a mistake and I know he didn't mean it. Damn it, we were finally getting him back to happy after how he left. I guess I'll just have to make it up to him later._

-

Running always helped. Whether it was to help him think or to block out a particularly bad experience, running had always been his safety. His entire family was like that. All of them had a certain thing they did to help them cope, to help them think or, even just for fun. For Gordon, it was swimming and coming up with increasingly elaborate pranks. For John, it was concentrating on whichever book he was writing at the moment or anything to do with space. For Virgil, his music and art were outlets and for Scott-

No, don't think about Scott.

Don't think about how much it had hurt to have his older brother say those things. A part of him knew that Scott was just tired; a forty-six hour rescue and then having to come and pick up Alan had had running on close to empty. He hadn't been able to take a break, though, because there had been a problem on Thunderbird 1 and Jeff had wanted it fixed ASAP because there was a chance that they'd need her soon; there were a couple of natural disasters looming in the distance. Scott could have just left it to one of the others but he'd been insistent that 1 was his 'bird and he'd be the one to fix her, thank you very much. All of that had just made his brother irritable and he'd taken it out on Alan.

_But what if it wasn't that? What if he does actually believe that? After all, Dad has no problem with believing that I'm not ready – he's said to my face that he's not considering training until I'm seventeen because I need to grow up first._

Alan's thoughts drifted in a different direction, towards what had happened when his Spring Break had ended. Jeff had insisted that he go back to Wharton and graduate there instead of being home-schooled and trained as he'd wanted. That conversation had not gone well. Some of the things his Dad had said still stung and it had been months ago. It had started fairly innocently... 

-

"Alan, could you come in here for a minute?" Jeff's voice came from the study, easily reaching the living room where Alan and Tin-Tin were lounging on the sofas, talking about nothing in particular. Everything was fairly relaxed, with the teenagers savoring the last few days of Spring Break.

"Sure, Dad, I'll be there in a sec." Alan called back lazily.

"Now, Alan. It's important."

"'Kay, I'm coming."

Alan walked into his father's study, ignoring the little voice that said something was about to go wrong. After all, he was a real part of the family now, wasn't he? A part of the team.

"Alan, do you want one of your brothers to take you back to school? I'd prefer to take up Lady Penelope's offer but since it seems to be a calm week, one of your brothers can take you back, if that's what you want."

Jeff looked up when Alan didn't reply.

"Alan?"

Alan stared at him.

"What are you talking about, Dad? I though I was gonna be using a correspondence program."

"What? Alan, I've told you a million times, no shortcuts! What would make you think that I'd changed my mind?"

"I just thought that-" Alan faltered at the look on his Dad's face.

"You thought what? That you were special? Better than your brothers? You thought that because I gave you the badge, you could do what you liked and I'd let you?" Jeff's temper was about to snap.

Unfortunately, the final straw came in the form of Fermat. He'd been worried that Alan had forgotten about the essay their math teacher had assigned him and, thinking that Alan was still in the living room, had gone there and asked Tin-Tin where he was. Jeff had just fallen silent and was waiting for Alan to answer him and Fermat's voice came through loud and clear.

_"Ms. Garrett g-gave him an e-essay on the l-last day and I kn-kn-know that he still hasn't a-asked his d-dad for a note to ex-explain why he didn't do it. I just wanted to make sure he didn't forget."_

"Alan? Did you have an essay to do?" The Tracy patriarch's voice was soft and calm, completely different to what it had been only a few minutes earlier.

"Dad, I was going to tell you but-"

Alan faltered again.

-

Alan wrenched himself back to the present. The ensuing scene had been a lot like most of the others between him and his father, but with one difference- this time, Jeff had lost control and started screaming and Alan had just taken it. The fact was that he'd had no idea what to say to his father. Usually, he had no problem with telling people exactly what he thought of them, with more than a few obscenities thrown in but that time had been different. He'd finally decided to trust his dad not to hurt him and had let his guard down. As such, he'd gotten badly hurt when Jeff had voiced the doubt he'd felt at making Alan a part of the team.

_Stop thinking about it! There's no reason to dwell on things that are over and done with! Suck it up and get over it Tracy!_

Alan took a deep breath. It was time to go back inside and apologize to Scott. He was not looking forward to it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Thunderbirds are not mine, I swear. Though, I would like them to be...
> 
> Remember to comment!

"Hey, Onaha." Alan greeted the Malaysian woman.

"Hello, Alan." Onaha looked up smiling. But then she frowned.

"You're still far too thin. Don't they feed you at that school?"

"They feed me fine, Onaha, but once a person gets used to your food, which is excellent, it's hard to like the stuff we're offered at Wharton's. School food's not exactly five star."

Onaha smiled. "Well, I'll just have to fatten you up while you're here. If I know you, though, you'll be undoing all of my good work with those runs you love going on."

Alan smiled. "Can I help it if I like running? I'm not wasting away, I promise."

"Alright then. What brings you back in here so soon? You're usually either with my daughter and Fermat or staring at one of those Thunderbirds like it's your long lost love."

"Onaha, I do not! But, thanks for reminding me. I was looking for Scott, have you seen him?"

Onaha nodded. "I saw him head towards his room. Is something wrong?"

Alan shook his head. "No, nothing's wrong, I just wanted to talk to him. Thanks, Onaha, I'll see you later."

He made his way to Scott's room but hesitated outside.

_I really don't want to do this. What if he's still mad? What if I only make this worse? Maybe it's better if I just leave it. But, if I don't apologize he might think I'm sulking and it might make him even angrier. It's better to just get it over and done with now. It's not going to get any easier._

Mind made up, he knocked on the door.

His eldest brother's voice came from within.

"Come in."

He opened the door and walked in, shutting it behind him. If there was going to be another shouting match, he'd prefer for his other brothers not to hear it.

"What now, Alan?" Scott's voice was irritated and his expression matched.

Alan took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have gotten upset with you for telling me off."

"Finally," Scott snapped.

Alan looked up with an incredulous expression on his face. "What?"

Scott looked at him. "Are you going deaf now, Alan? I said **'finally'** as in I'm glad that you've finally decided to grow up and accept it when you've screwed up. It should've happened a lot sooner but I suppose we should take what we can get."

Alan's temper flared in spite of himself and he couldn't stop the retort that fell from his lips. "Hey, I wasn't the only one at fault!"

"Oh, wonderful, you're going to try and shift the blame to someone else now? You messed up, Alan! Accept it and apologize! Stop defending yourself and trying to shift the blame to someone else because we both know that you're the one at fault, not me!"

_I knew that this was a bad idea. He's right, though! It is my fault! But I wasn't trying to shift the blame or defend myself! I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut but there's nothing I can do about that now. The best thing to do is just apologize again and then just leave. But it wasn't my fault!_

"I am sorry, Scott. I know that it's my fault and I'll try to be more careful next time."

"Good. I'm glad that you get it, Alan. Was there something else or is that it? Because if it is then I really need some sleep."

"No, that was it. Sorry I disturbed you." Alan turned back around and left.

-

Alan went to one of the hiding places he'd had since he'd been about nine. It was just a tiny storage shed on the outskirts of the jungle but no one else went there and no one would bother him there. It was one of the places he went to when he wanted to be alone.

_What's wrong with Scott? I thought he was just tired earlier but now I'm not so sure. What he said really hurt._

Scott's words echoed in his head. _**'You messed up!' 'You're the one at fault!'**_. Scott had just been letting off steam, hadn't he?

Alan was startled out of his thoughts by a voice saying his name. Gordon. But how had he known where Alan was? He'd been sure that no one else knew that the storage shed was one of his hiding places and Gordon wasn't very good at stealth. He would've known if his brother had followed him. But then he froze. Gordon wasn't calling him, he was talking about him. And the person he was talking to was most probably Virgil. He was about to announce his presence when what he heard made him pause. "… can't believe we have to come and find the brat. It's so inconsiderate of him. And the way Scott said he acted!" Virgil. Virgil was the one talking, the one calling him an inconsiderate brat. He didn't want to believe that. He didn't want to believe that Virgil would say that type of stuff about him. But now Gordon was talking.

"Alan's always been that way. Only thinking about himself and making problems for everyone else." Alan brain didn't want to accept this. Gordon had always been the brother he was closest to and now… But maybe they were all just really tired. It had been a difficult rescue from what he'd heard and they were probably just feeling the after effects of it. He ignored the voice in his mind saying that they'd had time to recover from the rescue. His brothers wouldn't say that type of stuff about him. They loved him, right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the Thunderbirds.

Six hours.

He'd been out in the little shed for six hours.

And he was still debating whether or not to just stay there for the night.

He'd planned on charging out and going head to head with his brothers about what they'd said - it was, according to them, a typical 'Alan' way to act and he'd hopefully get some answers as well. If he acted differently, there'd probably be a few comments about how the 'Sprout' was trying to fit in with the grown-ups and other little things that would make him stop.

Those little actions of his brothers were the reasons that he still acted so immature. His brothers may have repeatedly expressed their desire for him to start 'acting his age' and 'grow up' but when he actually started to do it, he was mocked and, depending on who it was, accused of trying to behave to cover up some other mischief that he'd made. So he'd stopped trying to be more mature and acted like the same old Alan that he'd always been.

Only around his family, though.

At school and with other people, he was still a joker, but he could be serious when need be. On the island, however, he still had to act as though he was unaware of which situations dictated a need for sobriety which led to his family's belief about his immaturity being recemented. It was a vicious circle and sadly one that he didn't seem to be able to break.

He looked at his wristwatch. **01:23** blinked up at him.

Late. Too late for him to try creeping back into the house. Besides, the shed was water-tight and pretty safe - it had a lock and a light and could serve as a perfectly good shelter. There was even a blanket if he got cold and his watch would allow him to signal for help if it was truly needed. And with the hostility between Scott and him, the possibility that his brother would check on him in the middle of the night was low. His mind made up, Alan settled down to sleep, pausing momentarily to set an alarm for five.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Alan woke up to the sound of his alarm. Where was he? This wasn't his bed. This was cold and hard and… uncomfortable. Alan's eyes flew open. Memory returned quickly, reminding him of the events that had led to him spending the night in a shed. He was still just as reluctant to leave and confront his brothers as he'd been the previous night.

And it was worse now.

Because now, he'd have to make up a convincing excuse for being absent from the dinner table the previous night. And Scott had probably informed their father of the mistakes he'd made yesterday so he would probably be receiving a punishment for that. Add ignoring his brothers and acting in a way that would communicate itself as sulking to his father and he'd be lucky if he escaped being grounded for the entire break.

Oh well. Nothing he could do about it now. Best to just take his punishment with a minimum of grumbling. And, of course, he'd have to make sure his behaviour was typically 'Alan' as well. It was going to be a long few weeks.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alan. _Where_ have you _been_?" Jeff's voice was shaking with barely controlled anger.

Apparently, his father had woken up early and had decided to get the lecture about Alan being to old to throw tantrums and sulk out of the way early.

Small problem. Alan wasn't there.

Now, normally, this wouldn't be much cause for concern. Alan often went for runs and he was known for waking up early no matter how late he'd slept. It had been a constant source of annoyance for the rest of the household when he'd been too little to remember that the other people in the house weren't morning people and would likely yell at him for waking them.

The only reason his father had been worried was because he'd checked the security cameras to find out where he'd gone and hadn't found him on any of the footage. Which had led to his realization that the youngest hadn't come back to the house since he'd left the previous afternoon.

And that was problem.

No matter that no one had even realized he wasn't there until ten minutes before he'd gotten back. Him not being there was still a problem. He had no doubt that he'd be spending his break grounded now.

Alan sighed as another thought struck him. IR training was definitely over. Between this and his and Scott's fight, his father would almost certainly have decided that he still wasn't mature enough to start training. His chance of proving to his family that he wasn't still the little boy who didn't understand social niceties and had no opinions of worth had just evaporated.

Wonderful.

"Alan! Are you even listening?" Jeff shook him hard. Alan's eyes snapped back up to his father.

"What was I just saying? You don't even know, do you? You've been daydreaming again instead of paying attention to me. For God's sake Alan! For once, just show a bit of maturity and act your age! You've disobeyed me, you've inconvenienced everyone and you still don't care! You're still ignoring me and being disrespectful! This is why I'm not letting you into IR. You can't follow even the smallest of orders and you don't have even the littlest bit of compassion for me or your brothers! Did you even stop to think that we'd be worried?"

Alan hadn't said anything, knowing that interrupting his father in this mood was asking for trouble. Trying to defend himself would just enrage his father more. Even so, he couldn't keep his mouth shut when his father accused him of being compassionless.

"That's not-" he started hotly. But Jeff didn't give him a chance, cutting him off almost immediately.

"I don't want to hear it! I'm tired of it, Alan. I'm tired of having to tolerate it. Your selfishness, your inconsiderateness, your disrespectfulness. Everything about you right now! I'm tired of it and I'm tired of you! I can't deal with you now. Go to your room, stay there until I call you. _Don't_ come out. I don't care what's happening, I want you to stay there. Understand? _Do you understand me, Alan?_ "

Alan nodded, unable to speak.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Jeff demanded. " _Go!_ "

"Sorry." Alan choked out. He turned and left.

Jeff sighed, running a hand through his hair. He hadn't intended to say all of that to Alan. But it was true. The teenager had started to become someone that Jeff didn't recognize, someone he didn't even like. It had been slow, starting with Alan's refusal to mature but it had gotten to more than that and now, Alan was being disrespectful, questioning Jeff and his brothers all the time. And even after he'd just been chastised, he wasn't sorry. The teen had walked out of the room arrogantly, not even seeming to care that his father disapproved of his actions.

But it was his fault. He'd always been lenient with Alan. The fifteen-year-old was his baby and he looked so much like Lucy…

Jeff sighed again.

But he couldn't afford to do that again. He loved his son and he owed it to him to make sure that the child became the best that he could be. He wouldn't stand by and watch as his son grew into the type of person that he definitely would become without immediate intervention.

The father of five turned to his laptop, already making plans to save his son from himself.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alan ran from his father's study, barely managing to hold himself together until he got to the privacy of his room.

Thankfully, his brothers were nowhere to be seen. He wouldn't have been able to hold it together long enough to talk and they'd definitely have made fun of him for crying. Gordon and Virgil were always telling him to suck it up and while Scott had never actually voiced it, he'd seen a vaguely approving look in the man's eyes when he saw Gordon or Virgil at it. John was the only one who'd never said or implied something like that and it was doubtlessly just because the middle Tracy didn't even know him well enough to say something like that.

He threw himself on his bed and sobbed. He couldn't believe half the things his father had said to him. They'd had some pretty spectacular fights before but that's what they'd always been. Fights. His father had never simply laid into him like that. He'd lecture and yell but he'd always let Alan have his say. He'd even asked for it on the occasions when he hadn't offered it!

Having Jeff verbally attack him that way had been incredibly upsetting. He'd always been calm when he disciplined them. His father almost never lost it that quickly. And if he did, he'd send Alan away immediately. He'd never previously launched that type of attack.

And the things he'd said. Alan was used to his father criticizing parts of him. Jeff had been doing it forever, and he'd learned to brush it off. But his father had never before been that vicious. The man's words rang in his head. ' _I'm tired of you! You can't follow even the smallest of orders and you don't have even the littlest bit of compassion for me or your brothers! I don't care!_ '

Alan buried his head in his pillows. He hated this. He hated that his father was angry with him, hated that Scott was angry too, hated that he couldn't go to Virgil or Gordon because they'd tell him to grow up, hated that he couldn't go to John because he didn't even know the man.

But most of all, Alan hated himself.

Because it was his fault. It was all his fault.

If he'd just went with Virgil and Gordon when they'd called him. Even better, if he hadn't fought with Scott. Then there'd be nothing wrong and he would've been able to have a good time with his family. But he hadn't been able to please his family for even one day.

And it was only when he was around that there were so many fights. He'd been told so frequently.

It was one of his greatest fears. That his father would realize that and send him away permanently. He was already in boarding school but the fact that he Whartons allowed students to leave for the weekends had made him feel a bit better. And all his brothers had gone there so it wasn't because of him. It was just something that his Dad had wanted them all to do.

But one of Alan's greatest fears was being sent away from his family permanently. Because they were the most important thing to him.

Even if they underestimated him.

Even if they hurt him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the Thunderbirds.  
> A huge thank you goes to my beta, Joanne Brandon, for getting this to me so quickly despite being sick. You're amazing!

Two weeks.

Two weeks of bearing the brunt of the Tracy family's ire and Alan was about to break.

He couldn't take it any longer.

The atmosphere had been tense since his last fight with his [father](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6872493/5/Understanding), with all of his brothers making it clear that his behaviour had been out of line.

However, he'd managed to avoid another outright fight by choosing to divide his time between Fermat and Tintin – when they weren't busy training, that was. After the initial mass lecture, his brothers had left him [alone](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6872493/5/Understanding), probably assuming that he was choosing to sulk and leaving him to it.

Add a sudden influx of rescues and it resulted in him feeling almost as though he was still back at school – with a few welcome changes.

For starters, he was getting a lot closer to Tintin. She had been busy for the first few days, having started her IR training but both she and Fermat had a lot more [free](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6872493/5/Understanding) time when the Tracy team were suddenly inundated with calls for help and thus unable to spare the time or energy for training.

He'd also spent an unexpectedly large amount of time with Fermat and Brains, discussing a wide range of topics, including astronomy, computers and engineering. Needless to say, Alan had begged the scientist not to mention any of it to the rest of the Tracy family.

Once upon a time, he'd wanted them to know. He'd naïvely believed that his brothers would want to share their passions with him.

He could remember trying over and over again but he'd always either been brushed off or been treated with condescension by his brothers.

He knew the reasoning behind it – All of them were busy, far too busy to listen to their little brother's excited chatter about things they'd learned years ago. The novelty of the basics had long since worn off and they were now tedious to listen to, too tedious to endure just for Alan.

After all, the 'Sprout' could always talk to his [friends](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6872493/5/Understanding) about these things. They couldn't be expected to entertain an inquisitive child who'd ask a million questions and no doubt forget the answers five minutes after he got them. It was just too much trouble.

It had taken quite a few painful incidents before Alan had wised up and stopped trying.

_**Understanding** _

"Incoming!"

Alan looked up, startled.

"What?"

"I said incoming. Your brothers are back, and by the looks of it, absence hasn't made the heart grow much fonder." Tintin sighed.

"Great. Tintin, I hate to ask…" Alan trailed off.

"No, don't worry about it. I'll tell them you're with Fermat…"

"And I'll go into the jungle." Alan completed.

Tintin nodded. "Okay. But… you have to take one of the locators _and_ your phone. And don't ignore me when I call you." The brunette gave him a stern look.

Alan laughed. "Yes, ma'am." He gave her a mock salute.

Tintin smiled. "Good. Now get, I hear Scott."

Alan moved to the door, pausing as he got there. "Tintin?"

The Malaysian girl turned. "Yes?"

"Thanks. Really. I appreciate everything that you're doing. And, I was wondering…"

They both looked up at the sound of Scott's voice, coupled with nearing footsteps.

"Uh, gotta go!" Alan ran.

Tintin sighed again, lamenting the eldest Tracy's lack of timing. Alan was shy enough without his brothers interrupting every time he got up the nerve to try and address their relationship. But there was nothing she could do except be patient. She only hoped that it wouldn't take another life-threatening situation for her and Alan to make things official.

_**Understanding** _

Scott came up the path, inspecting the little clearing that she sat in as he walked closer.

"Hi, Scott. How was the rescue?" She looked up at him, making sure that her current irritation with him was hidden.

"Hello, Tintin. The rescue went as well as it could have. We didn't have as many casualties as we'd initially expected."

She smiled genuinely this time. "That's good to hear. Is there something you need?"

Scott scowled. "Alan. Our Father needs to speak to him about something and by the sounds of it, it's important. Have you seen him?"

"I saw him earlier," the Malaysian girl said. She hesitated slightly.

_Should I tell him? I told Alan that I wouldn't and if Scott finds him this quickly…_

_Alan's not stupid, he'll realize what happened. I could explain to him later but – No. Alan's not the trusting type. If I do this now, I'll have broken any trust that he does have in me._

"I'm not sure where he is now, Scott. Have you tried his cell?"

"Yes, I have. It rung out." The man scrutinized her. "Tintin, do you know something? If you do, tell me. My father's not in the mood to be kept waiting."

Tintin shook her head. "No more than I've already told you Scott. I don't know why Alan didn't answer the phone… It's possible that he's with the Hackenbackers. Have you checked there?"

"Next on my list." Scott responded. "Though I don't know what he'd be doing there. It's not like he'd be able to follow Brains and Fermat if they got into one of their discussions."

Tintin scowled. "You'd be surprised. Excuse me, Scott. I'm going to go find my mother. If I see Alan, I'll let him know that Mr. Tracy wants to talk to him."

Scott still looked confused over her remark but he nodded and moved to let her pass him.

"Okay, I'll see you later then."

Tintin pulled out her cell phone the second she got out of Scott's sight and hearing range.

She dialled Alan's number and waited impatiently for it to connect.

_**"Hello?"** _

_**"Alan? Where are you?"** _

_**"Hi, Tintin. I changed my mind. I'm down by the beach. Scott heading this way?"** _

_**"How soon can you get back to the house?"** _

_**"If I run? Fifteen minutes. Why?"** _

_**"Scott's looking for you. Apparently, Mr. Tracy needs to talk to you."** _

_**"Okay, thanks for the heads up. I'll be there ASAP. See you later."** _

_**"Bye."** _

Tintin disconnected and continued on her way. She didn't particularly want to be in the vicinity if another Alan and Jeff Tracy Clash got underway. She'd stop by and let her mother know that she would be at the beach. Alan would probably come back there if he and his father butted heads again.

_**Understanding** _

Alan ran up the path to the villa, absently noticing that there was no one anywhere in his line of sight. Unusual, especially when you took into account that all the Tracys were in residence.

_They can't all be looking for me, can they?_

_No, that's impossible._

_But then why…_

_It's usually only Onaha and Kyrano who avoid being near when Dad and I are having a_ discussion _. Gordon thinks it's funny and the rest just ignore it… I can't remember the last time_ everyone _left us alone._

_No idea what that means but it can't be anything good._

_Kinda makes me wish I'd stayed in the jungle and made a nest._

_Well, I'm already here. Might as well get the hostilities over with._

_Maybe I'll be able to escape in the aftermath…_

The youngest Tracy drew in a deep breath and knocked on Jeff's study door.

He was told to enter almost immediately and did so, closing the door behind him.

His father was sat at his desk, his eyes on the screen to his left.

He looked up when Alan entered but didn't bother to say anything or to indicate in any other way to the blond that he was to sit.

_Okay, I'm guessing this will be pretty short, then._

"Hey, dad. How was the rescue?

_He doesn't even look angry. I think that might be scarier than seeing him about to lose it._

"Never mind about the rescue, Alan." Jeff said. "We're here to talk about you."

_Crap. Well, it was worth a try._

Alan worried at his lower lip with his teeth.

"What about me, Dad?" He looked his father in the eye.

_What is it now? I haven't done anything, I'm sure of it. And I'm not naïve enough to think that this is about me starting training for IR. What the hell can it be?_

"Alan, I know that people can make bad decisions that they later regret. If you're regretting what you've done, come clean and I won't be angry with you. That won't change the fact that you need to take responsibility for your actions but it will make it a little easier to fix the problem."

Alan blinked, thoroughly confused.

_What on Earth? What could he be talking about? It sounds pretty serious but there's nothing that I've done. I'm sure of it. It could be Gordon playing a prank but somehow, I doubt it. This seems too serious for something Gordy would pull…_

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Dad." He looked his father straight in the eyes as he spoke, confident that there was no reason for him to feel guilty.

Now, Jeff looked angry. As angry as Alan had ever seen him. It made him fell like apologizing despite the fact that he was sure he'd done nothing to deserve the ex-astronaut's ire.

"Alan, I've just said that I won't be angry with you. Do you want to reconsider your answer?"

The teenager shook his head emphatically. "No. I haven't done anything. I'm sure of it. Are you sure it's not Gordy?"

The loom on Jeff's face was getting darker as he spoke.

"Do _**not**_ try to pin this on your brother, Alan! At least take the blame for your own actions!" His father's face was going red. He looked ten seconds from completely blowing up.

_Maybe I should just…_

He scowled at the thought.

_No. I've done nothing wrong and I'm not going to take the fall for something that I have no idea about._

"I'll take the blame when I've actually done something, Father. I won't simply take blame to appease you!" _Careful. If I piss him off too much, I'll get punished for my mouth anyway._

"Alan, for God's sake. Your school is convinced that you've cheated and, frankly, so am I. Why else wouldn't you show me your _miraculously improved_ report card? You knew that I wouldn't buy it! What I don't understand is why you did it in the first place. You've gained nothing by it and Wharton's is seriously considering expelling you! The only reason that they haven't done it yet is because you're _my_ son! Now, tell me, _why did you do it_?"

Alan's mouth had fallen open sometime after his father had begun speaking. Cheating? _That_ was what he was being accused of?

 _He believes it. He_ actually _thinks that I would cheat. How can he – He's not even giving me the benefit of the doubt._

The blond shook his head in disbelief. That his father would actually take the word of strangers over that of his own son was completely foreign an idea to him.

"You think that I did it?" His voice held a myriad of emotions, some of them unidentifiable to even him. He was angry, hurt and so much more.

"Did you never consider the fact that I was trying harder to make you happy? Haven't you and my teachers been telling me for years that I don't reach my full potential? Is it that hard to believe that I've started doing that now?"

He laughed. It was not anywhere near a happy sound. "Or is it just that you have that little faith in me, Father?"

Jeff glared at him, leaning slightly over the desk, his hands planted on either side of him.

"That's enough. Don't test my temper by trying to pretend that you're innocent. It's not possible for you to have improved that much in a single term, I don't care how much potential you have. You have two options, Alan. You can repeat the year or you can spend the rest of the summer at Wharton's being taught just enough to ensure that you will pass. And this time, you'll actually pay attention. A week before the new school year starts, you will be given the chance to re-take those tests and if you manage to pass honestly this time, you will be allowed to enter the next grade. Make no mistake – whether or not you repeat the year, you _will_ be spending the rest of this summer bringing yourself up to standard. Your only choice is whether or not you admit your guilt."

Alan opened his mouth, a hot retort on his lips.

But Jeff cut him off before it could slip free. He held up a hand. "No. I don't want to hear anything but your choice. Wharton's or Tracy Island."

Alan was breathing hard, fighting to not start screaming at the Tracy patriarch. Clearly, nothing he could say would sway his father from the belief that he was a cheater. He'd only be wasting his breath if he tried to reason with the man.

Either way, he refused to repeat the year and getting away from his family sounded like heaven at the moment. He'd miss Tintin and Fermat but he'd be able to keep in touch with them via vid-phone.

I _know that I'm innocent and that's all that matters. Everyone else's opinions of me don't. After all, if they actually care for me, they'll listen to me without jumping to conclusions and delivering judgement. It's just sad that apparently, my father doesn't seem to be one of the people I can count on to trust me._

He looked up, trying to school his emotions. He'd cry later in privacy. He wouldn't be able to stand doing it in front of Jeff and he'd likely get no sympathy from the man anyway.

"Wharton's, sir. Is that all?" He gritted his teeth. _Please let that be all. Please._

Sadly, it seemed that luck was not with him.

Jeff's voice was sharp. "No, it is not all. You will apologize to each of your teachers individually and you will be grounded for the next six months. In addition, you will make every effort to be a model student next year. I will _not_ tolerate something like this happening again, do you understand me?"

Alan nodded and turned to leave.

"Did I give you permission to leave, Alan?"

The teen drew in a deep breath. "No, sir. I'm sorry. May I go?"

Jeff sighed. "Yes, Alan."

"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review after you've read... It motivates me. Thank you!
> 
> TC everyone!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still on the way back to school. How many chapters has that taken now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Thunderbirds are owned by people far richer than me.
> 
> To all of you who've commented, left kudos or even simply read, I love you all. You are amazing.

Young Master Tracy! How are you this evening?” 

 

Alan smiled at the screen. “Hi, Parker. I'm okay. How are you and Lady Penelope?”

 

“We are both in excellent health, thank you for asking Master Alan. Feel free to correct me if I am under a false assumption but I am sensing that this is not a social call?” Parker looked at him shrewdly.

 

Alan bit his lip. “You're right, Parker. I need a favor, actually. I have to go back to school tomorrow and I'm pretty sure my dad and brothers are all busy. And, you know that I'm not allowed to fly by myself. Do you think you could ask Lady Penelope if she minds you picking me up?”

  
Parker frowned. “This early, Master Alan? I had thought that you still had a good few weeks of holiday left.”

 

Alan shook his head. “Nope, I need to be at school early this year. It's just me, Fermat's gonna be staying on the Island for a while still.”

 

“I will enquire as to Her Ladyship's schedule but I highly doubt that there will be anything pressing. If her schedule permits it, I will arrive at Tracy Island at nine o' clock tomorrow. If there is a delay, I will contact you in the morning, sir.”

 

“That's fine, Parker. I'll see you tomorrow. Gotta go pack, bye!” He disconnected the call.

 

_Now to go and tell Milday._ Parker sighed. It looked as though the problems Young Master Alan had been having with the rest of his family had not yet been solved.

 

He went up to the study, knocked and entered.

 

She was sitting at her desk, reading a file which she put down when he entered.

“Parker, is something the matter?”

 

The butler shook his head. “I can't be certain Milady, but my gut tells me that something has happened on Tracy Island. Master Alan contacted me a short while ago to inquire as to whether I may be available to transport him from the Island back to his boarding school tomorrow. Am I right in saying that that sounds highly unusual?”

 

Lady Penelope nodded. “You're right, Parker. That is strange. Usually, Jeff would call me and ask himself. I'm sure he will let me know in due time. In the meantime, you will, of course, take Alan back to Massachusetts.”

 

“Yes, Milady. Will you be requiring anything tonight?”

 

“No, Parker. Thank you but I've got everything I need,” she said.

 

“Of course, Milady.” Parker left, closing the door behind him.

 

_ **Understanding** _

Alan had just finished breakfast when his father came down.

 

“Hi, Dad.” he greeted cautiously, getting up from the table.

 

“Good morning, Alan,” Jeff replied. “I'm glad I found you this quickly. How long will it take you to pack so that we can leave?”

 

Alan focused on the table, trying to find the right way to say that this time, he didn't need _or_ want his father to drop him off. It made no sense to start another fight just as he was about to leave but he truly did _not_ want to be around Jeff Tracy more than strictly necessary at this time.

 

“Um, I'm already packed and I called Parker last night. He'll be here in a few minutes.”

 

“Why,” Jeff asked. “I would have dropped you off, Alan. There was no need...” He trailed off, maybe realizing why his youngest son would choose to avoid spending time with him. “But, if Parker's already on the way then it makes sense for you to leave with him.”

 

Alan smiled slightly. “Yeah. So, see you in a few months?”

 

Jeff nodded. “Try to stay out of trouble.”

 

_ **Understanding** _

 

They'd barely left before Parker was staring him down. 

 

Alan laughed. The English butler had been his babysitter on the many occasions when his family had been busy with International Rescue or Tracy Enterprises and it was clear that he hadn't fooled the butler. Parker knew that something was wrong.

 

“I think you'd better just ask before you explode, Nosy.” he said.

 

Parker kept his eyes on the display in front of him. “I'm sure I have no idea what you mean, Master Alan.”

 

Alan raised an eyebrow. “Oh. So, you have no interest in knowing why I'm leaving the Island a month ahead of schedule?”

 

“I am sure I do not, sir.” Parker said. “However, if Master Alan wished to inform me, I would have no objection.”

 

“Well, I don't wish to inform you.” Alan suppressed the urge to stick his tongue out.

 

“Master Alan,” Parker said, meeting his eyes in the rear-view mirror “It may help.”

 

“Help?” Alan laughed bitterly. “How could talking about it help? All that it'd do would be to make me relive it and that would do the opposite of help. And even if it somehow did help, I have no idea where to start.”

 

“Perhaps you could start with why you required my assistance to reach Massachusetts this morning.” The Englishman suggested gently.

 

Alan sighed. “I scored better than usual on my finals. Straight A's, in fact.”

 

“That's wonderful,” Parker smiled. “I don't quite understand what the problem is?”

 

“Thanks, Parker.” Alan smiled in pleasure at the praise. At least his old babysitter believed that he could achieve those kinds of grades on his own merit. 

 

“Unfortunately, almost no one else actually believes that I really did get those grades fairly. My teachers and my family both think that I cheated so I'm going back to essentially rewrite my finals. I just, I don't understand their logic.” He shook his head.

 

The hurt was still there, beginning to be covered by anger but, honestly, he couldn't see why they all found it so absurd that he could actually be intelligent, especially after the many disappointed lectures he'd been on the receiving end of.

 

“I mean, I've been hearing it from my dad, Scott, Virgil, heck even John sometimes. All of them yelled at me God knows how many times about slacking off and scraping by on the bare minimum but this time – 

This one time when I work my butt off, it's impossible that all of that potential I'd been wasting had finally been put to use.”

 

“Master Alan, I am sure that your family were just taken by surprise at the swiftness of your improvement.”

 

“Maybe you're right.” Alan said hesitantly. “I did jump at least three symbols in each subject. But, I just, I expected them to have more faith in me. I don't know, though. Maybe it was just too much and they're being pessimistic about it. Maybe, I shouldn't be angry.”

 

He still thought that his father should have at least given him the chance to defend himself but...

 

Parker nodded. “Now, I accept that your father and brothers reacted badly but I am sure that you will be receiving a string of apologies when you meet them tonight.”

 

Alan made a puzzled face. “What do you mean tonight?” he asked.

 

“Well, this afternoon, really. After you have dealt with your teachers' doubts and proved that you have earned your various accolades and achievements.” Parker explained.

 

Alan shook his head. That was just like Parker. Assuming he would be carting around suitcases for what he assumed to be a few hours stay. Although, with Lady Penelope, he couldn't blame the poor guy for assuming. That woman had enough luggage to fill about ten rooms.

 

“I'm staying for the rest of the summer, Parker. Attending summer school.” The blond said.

 

“Why on Earth would you be doing that, Master Tracy? If you cannot retake your examinations until the end of the summer then surely, you could just end your vacation early?” Parker asked.

 

“I'm supposed to be learning the syllabus that I cheated my way through the first time round. That was the deal that my father worked out with the headmaster so that I wouldn't straight out fail.” Alan said.

Which meant that he would be spending the rest of his summer in a state of perpetual boredom, sitting through lessons that he'd mastered easily.

 

“Now, hang on just a minute.” Parker said. “When was your father informed of your apparent rule breaking? And when did you see him last?”

 

“Dad got the call in the early afternoon yesterday and we saw each other last just before I left. Why, big guy?” Alan asked.

 

The Englishman scowled. “Do you mean to say that your father truly does not believe you, Master Alan? Did you not explain to him why you had improved so much?”

 

“Well, no, he doesn't. And, as far as explanations go, no I didn't really. Unless you count screaming at him to be an explanation. He didn't really want to hear it.” Alan winced even thinking about that last fight.

 

“But, I thought you said I shouldn't be mad. What's got you riled up, Parker?” He asked.

 

Parker was furious. “I had assumed, Master Alan, that you would just be sorting out a little problem and also that your father was still in shock and therefore not thinking clearly. It seems as though I was wrong on both counts and you most certainly should be angry, sir. I am truly sorry that your family seem to know you so little, Alan.”

 

Alan was still getting over his shock at what Parker had said. The English butler had never before actually encouraged Alan to hold onto his anger against any one of his family members.

Alan knew that the man didn't mean that he shouldn't forgive them but Parker's opinion was one he trusted and his assurance that Alan should be angry meant that he didn't have to once again bury his feelings for fear of being accused of over reacting. That was very comforting as he didn't know if he could have simply let it go this time.

 

“Master Alan.”

 

He looked up. “ Yeah, Parker?”

 

 

“We have arrived, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, next time Alan will be at school. And then the fun starts.
> 
> Also, I'm so sorry that this has taken so long. I've been ill and then I forgot about posting here and then, well, I'm not quite sure what happened. Rest assured that I will do my best to not let this happen again.

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to comment :)


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